A story of capri pants and basketball

Today:

9:15am: Put on these lululmon wunder under crops, only in all black with a dotted waistband, go to the office with boots and a “nice” shirt (read: v-neck tee … it’s Friday, people!), almost making a real outfit:

1pm: Change into a different t-shirt and sneakers and go to CrossFit. There were about 50 boys (really 25) and 1 me in class, so Mike made up a team WOD:

Team of 5, only 2 work at a time on different exercises, 3 rest:
800 M Run (everyone)
185# (275#) Deadlifts – 100 reps / 100 burpees
250 GHD Situps / 25# (35#) dumbell squat cleans
800 M Run
Team time: 22:30? or something

2:15pm: Go home, throw some dry shampoo in my hair, change out of the sweaty sports bra, put back on the “nice” shirt and boots, and roll back out the door. Still have wunder under crops on.

Stay with me, I promise this all gets relevant

4:30pm: Phone call. “Want to go run around Town Lake?” It’s 70 degrees and gorgeous out, so yes, yes, I do.

4:45pm: Go back home. Put on new clean sports bra and sweaty shirt from 1pm workout, mostly dry by now. Still have wunder under crops on.

5pm: Meet guy friend at lake. Decide to play pickup basketball instead. Conversation ensues:

Me: OK, now you need to understand that me wearing these capris (euphemism for tight-ass wunder under crops) is not normally acceptable on the basketball court. It’s gonna be tough to get respect.

Guy friend: [stares] Uh, what?

Me: You wouldn’t understand, but trust me, the capris (euphemism!) are NOT my normal bball wear. Horrible for my rep.

Guy friend: Your rep?

Me: Yes my rep! I gotta keep it up!

Guy friend: I think you’ll be fine.

Guy friend (6’4, highly athletic) and I stroll up to the basketball court, where 4 guys are standing around.

Guy friend: You guys wanna play threes? (for the uninitiated, that means 3v3 basketball)

Guys: Um, there’s only 5 of us.

[Awkward silence]

[Pointed look toward Guy friend]

Guy friend: Oh, she plays.

[Awkward jokes ensue]

Me: Fucking capri pants.

Then we play, and I proceed to school them. Literally.

Moral of the story: Don’t wear fucking capri pants/lululemon wunder under crops to play pickup basketball. Unless you have game, in which case you can hoop in any attire.