I’ve talked about making new friends in Austin and Aspen, but both times it was while I had friends. In other words, I’m a preachy idiot.
For all my pretty beach photos and happy community talk, let’s get real: moving somewhere by yourself with no friends (ok, I have one friend) sucks. Most of the time. Not all the time, because that’s why you moved here solo in the first place—the whole independent, seize the day, I-do-what-I-want thing—but when you want someone to cruise the boardwalk with, to join a game of pickup basketball with, to sit on a patio or porch with, well, then it pretty much sucks not to know anyone.
Sure, you can do those things solo. But it takes a LOT more guts, confidence, and effort.
I’m a month into my new life in Newport Beach and while I have some hilarious posts lined up with observations about the absurdities that make up life in the OC—is that two pomeranians in your beach cruiser basket?!—it’s time to own up to the difficulty of making new friends. I’m older. Californians are weird. I’m pickier. Californians are weirder. I’m lazier. Californians are effing weird.
As I’ve said before, making friends is all about effort. With the effort put into my new job, whipping my new home into shape, and keeping myself in shape, there’s little time to even put in the effort for friends. But then a sunny day hits and I want nothing more than a beach buddy! When you have friends, solo time is precious. When all you have is solo time, it becomes less precious, and more precarious.
But, as I write, I prepare to go meet a new friend and some random dudes for Taco Tuesday. It was just last Tuesday I was going out with a CrossFit crew for Taco Tuesday. Sports, sports, sports. Meetup.com. Do the the things you love to do naturally, even if they are hard to do solo (celebs, I showed up almost an hour too early for pickup basketball last week to ensure my spot … you gotta do what you gotta do). The effects of effort grow exponentially. Like so many things, once you get a few friends, it takes less effort (see: aforementioned random dudes). It’s those first freakin’ few that are so hard.
And like so many things, the difficult thing, the effort of making friends, is worth it.
For previous peppiness see also: