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... actual hideous things I see people wearing, and how to remedy the problems they present.

+ FIT, Fit, fit ... people, respect your body and how clothes fit on it. Stop wearing things that are too tight/too short/too baggy/too ANYTHING.
+"Ombre" hair ... the pinterest pin that says, "honey, we call that roots" is spot on. Dimension is hot. Drama is not.
+overdone blush. If we can see the lines, it's too much.
+Let's talk sportswear. Wear the appropriate things for your activity—if you are going to yoga, wear yoga pants. If you are playing volleyball, wear short shorts. If you are playing basketball, for the love, wear basketball shorts.

... because I knew about jellies shoes way before they were cool.

*the resurgence of friendship bracelets
*chambray shirts
*bold business suiting—you can pair tops and bottoms separately to tone it down
*patterned pants
*native american prints
*brightly-colored sunnies. they're SUNNIES after all.
*braids