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Gardening Training Wheels

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of Miracle-Gro for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

I have a list on my fridge of Things To Do—well, I have lists like that everywhere, but the fridge is command central for Things To Do Around The House. On that list is one item:

  • Gardening?

This, to anyone who knows me, is hilarious. I mean, I flipped out when I had to weed. I can’t keep love ferns alive to save my love. I am no stranger to garden failure—there was once a homemade greenhouse (the construction or maintenance of which I take NO credit) on my porch for an entire Colorado summer that managed to produce but one head of lettuce.

But. I took my happy self to Lowe’s, perused the garden section like I might buy some perennials, or annuals, or brightly-colored flowers, or maybe even a chard plant. Then, I practically and with complete knowledge of reality, bought succulents. Let’s be serious. Sometimes I forget to give water to MY DOG, how am I going to remember to water inanimate objects, living things though they may be?

20130430-154042.jpgThen, they sat on my counter for a week while I looked for appropriately quirky vessels. Cafe Bustelo, with your bright yellow coffee tin? Don’t mind if I do! I even packed up a little guy and took him to work.

Back to the Cafe Bustelo Succulent. You see, coffee grinds make things grow, I seem to remember reading somewhere sometime. So I put some coffee grinds in the coffee tin with the flat, pretty succulent and watered it. ONCE. That cactus plant grew overnight! All the sudden it was a tall, desert-scrub looking thing, no longer my hardy faux-flower, instead reaching for the sky (from inside my house). I took to the googles. You can trim the tops, the googles said, and the plant will stay short.

So I did.

But in my experience, this is not exactly true. The original Cafe Bustelo Succulent has turned yellow and died.

Erm. I might also add … Perhaps atop the hot water heater was not the best place for it?

Next step: The Gro Project‘s Toyrarium, a hilarious combo of succulents, toys, and a fishbowl. Quirky and cute, just like I wanted. They also have a Ukelele Garden and an Origami Garden. And tons of other resources—including fun garden projects inspiration via Pinterest and a Sprout It! app. Their motto: “From green to green thumb” …

Maybe, just maybe, I was too good at succulent growing? (I wasn’t even using any indoor boosters, like the Shake n’ Feed Moisture Control All Purpose Plant Food from Miracle-Gro, which were I to plant big indoor things I would probably need.) Should I move on to bigger things, like a full outdoor garden? I mean, they make this thing called Miracle-Gro LiquaFeed All-Purpose Plant Food Advance Starter Kit, which “feeds” and waters at the same time while managing NOT to kill the dog (hey—I haven’t in 6 years, plant food is NOT about to take her down). How hard could it be (FAMOUS LAST WORDS)? Could Summer 2013 be the Summer of Gardening Training Wheels?

We’ll see.

  • Gardening?

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