Oh, Universe. You are hilarious. One minute I’m posting about how happy I am to have my health, and the next I’m vomiting and pooping in quick succession—too quick if you know what I mean—for hours on end, sleeping next to the toilet (is my face ON the toilet? too sick to care), and then when finally the expulsions stop, the hallucinations from the dehydration begin, my body aches like I literally lifted the world and carried it around on my shoulder for 100 miles through the desert, my brain is so feeble I can only watch The Prince & Me and some terrible teen movie called 16-Love which is exactly what you’d expect it to be and this is coming from someone who watched The Carrie Diaries like it was her job, but hey! at least now I have enough energy to walk Nali down to the beach so she can get a dog ticket for not being registered in the state of California, a registration I philosophically refuse to procure for $12 because Big Brother state has no need to know if I have a dog or not.
Universe, you are funny.
Also, don’t leave meat sticks out in the sun and assume they are still safe to eat.*
But seriously, Universe, what do you want from me? To slow down? To pay attention to something? To expel some things from my life?
Because if I never have to suffer from food poisoning like last weekend’s again, I will psychologically hunt down whatever you need me to hunt down.
Oh, but the gratitude part of this? Hard to say. I’m grateful I had someone to take care of me, I’m grateful NBC streamed the Super Bowl since I couldn’t go to the Super Bowl party, I’m grateful for Ultima Replenisher electrolyte powder, I’m grateful for Amazon Prime even if it has a terrible movie selection for which I blame my subsequent poor choices, I’m grateful for dog cuddles.
Onward!
*this apparently causes food poisoning.